13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. - 1 John 3:13-15

Just like life, leadership comes with struggles.  Unfortunately, a lot of the struggles that leaders have to deal with is the daily sifting through the “haters.”  The haters are those people who seem to have a list of concerns about everything, without any solutions.  They’re also the ones who want to bring you down because they’re jealous of your successes.  If you look deeper into 1 John 3, it’s clear to see that it’s expected for the world to hate us, or not “know” us, because they didn’t know Jesus.

So where does the ultra negative spirit in “believers” come from?  To be honest, I’m done asking that question.  It’s not our job to try and decide what makes people do the things they do.  But so many leaders are spending their precious resources trying to fix the perspective of these kind of people.  However, at the end of the day their inability to love well is between them and God.

Is it sad that some in the church tend to be the voice of negativity rather than the voice of love?  Absolutely, and it’s the reality of what we leaders are facing in so many areas.  It feels like you against the world.

After all the experience with “haters” I’ve decided to do something about it:

Don’t Respond - There’s a difference between a person who has a right to an opinion and a person who just wants you to hear them be negative.  You know the people who can’t say anything positive, and you fuel their fire when you respond to every random email or comment.

Stand For Truth Only - In some instances there are people who will try to attack your character and will build a story of lies that will end up hurting you.  In love, you have to fight for the truth.  Make a stance to protect your character, but don’t look at it as an opportunity to win, but to stand for what’s right.

Filter – Because not everyone is always trying to be negative, you need to have a system for filtering the valid from the unimportant.  I suggest bringing in a third party.  Someone who knows you and your character, but is unbiased on the decision making process.  Trust this person to read through the messages or listen to the voicemails and heed their opinion on the issue.  Those closest to you will know if the issue at hand is truly something you struggle with.  If it’s not, trust them and let it go.

Let It Go And Keep Moving - The desire to please everyone is a struggle that leaders often have.  But the negativity of hater’s tend to stick with you.  You have to brush it off or it will eat at you when you sleep, affect your relationships, and change the reason why you make certain decisions.  Live out the truth that their negativity is not your responsibility.

Stay Away From Haters – There are just some people who have negativity on their speech more often than being positive.  Unfortunately I’ve realized that they’ll bring you down to their level easier than you’ll be able to change their outlook on things.  For the health of your ministry and life, stay away from haters.

I’d love to hear your stories on how negativity has hurt your ministry and leadership and how you were able to overcome the haters in your life.  Let’s be here for each other and help encourage others through the good and the bad times.  Join the conversation in the comments below.